THE MANY HATS OF A BIRTH PARTNER
Photo Credit: Unsplash/ @jonathanborba
Contrary to popular belief, being a birth partner does not make you a helpless bystander. In fact, birth partners can play a very active role in childbirth and it is a position of power that shows the level of trust the birthing parent has placed on you. Just your presence alone, physically and mentally, can make all the difference in the experience of the birthing parent. The following are just a few of the ways you can support your partner on the big day;
CURATOR OF BIRTH SPACE
Managing the birth environment is a vital part of your job as a birth partner. Keep the amount of noise and people to a minimum. Set the scene for romance with dim lighting, relaxing scents, peaceful music or hypnosis tracks to encourage the release of helpful hormones. Make sure your partner is comfortable and has everything they need easily accessible. Get organised and plan the route, help pack the bag and set up the birth pool or any props they may need.
STUDENT
Get involved in antenatal education during the pregnancy, the more you know, the easier it will be to make decisions about the upcoming birth. Write the birth plan as a couple and memorise it, so that you can answer any questions the medical team may have on the day. Have in depth conversations during pregnancy about her expectations and needs from you, set rules about how to navigate the postpartum period and get clear on what her boundaries are during labour, so that you can enforce them with others.
ADVOCATE
In moments where the birthing parent may not have the capacity to make decisions about their care, you will have to step up and make the call, so get on the same page with your partner about their preferences. Learn about what your rights are as a family when in labour and speak up if you feel like they are being violated. Protect your partner’s wishes and boundaries, taking difficult conversations outside of the birth space. Ask questions if you don’t understand something, so that you can make informed decisions as a team.
OXYTOCIN PROTECTOR
Encourage the flow of oxytocin during birth by doing little things to make your partner feel loved and calm. This could include giving her a massage, making her laugh, getting her to move around and switch positions often, offering affection, holding her up and removing any obstacles to her peace.
SUPPORT SYSTEM
Giving birth is hard, so hearing words of encouragement, seeing reminders of birth affirmations and home around, being offered drinks and snacks, having subtle unspoken gestures to remind you to pee, drink, move around or breathe can all be really helpful. This is an opportunity for closeness and to allow your emotional connection to help the birthing parent feel safe and at ease when she feels like giving up.
During our hypnobirthing classes, we discuss these and many more ways that you can show up for your partner as a birth companion during pregnancy, labour and postpartum. If you would like to find out more about how birth partners can help to improve your birth experience, please book a free clarity call with me.
Love, Megan
